Tuesday, July 20, 2010


This is a Public Service Announcement.

Do you find yourself flexing your steroid induced musculature when passing any reflection, regardless of how remote? Do you interject yourself into every conversation providing the "ultimate solution" based on your superior knowledge, awesome power and highly evolved intellectual prowess? Do you believe yourself capable of doing everything on your own, even when the task requires two or more people? Does your Significant Other often foster feelings of dissatisfaction and unrequited longing?

If you answered yes to the questions above, you may be suffering from LDS. LDS typically affects certain men between the ages of 17 and 105, and is unfortunately a lifetime malady. Sadly, those afflicted with this syndrome usually are not aware, unlike all those around them after 15 minutes or more in their presence.

Although there is no known cure for LDS, despite claims to the contrary on late-night infomercials, you can avoid embarrassing family members and friends around you in times of social gathers, by following a few simple steps:
  • Think before you speak
  • Work through whether or not you really need to contribute to the conversation
  • If you absolutely MUST speak, avoid words like "I, me, mine"
  • Use pronouns such as "they, them, theirs, others"
  • Resist the urge to lift the heaviest object in the room for no apparent reason
  • Wear loser clothing.. it will give the appearance of bulk even where none exists

We don't guarantee this will completely hide the symptoms of LDS, but there is a slight chance some people will not notice, and this will ultimately widen the circle of people that can stand being around you for any significant period of time.

Remember, in your case... less is more.

This has been a Public Service Announcement

Sunday, June 6, 2010

A Book, a Beef, and a Bittersweet Memory

Have I ever mentioned that I'm writing a book? Technically, it's been in work for about 6 to 7 years now... practically, it's only been about 1 year. As you can tell by the blog, I find consistency and commitment a challenge when it comes to the written word. I should get back to work on it, though. Oddly enough, I feel a responsibility to the characters to finish their story even if the thing never sees the light of publishing day.

Speaking of inconsistency, I'm seeing a lot of news stories on the current oil crisis in the Gulf, the most useful and informative being on the Weather Channel of all places. OK, it's news. But think about this. Back when the Haiti crisis was in full bloom and you couldn't walk into a convenience store, surf to a website, or type a text message without being reminded from every direction that you have an opportunity (and an implied obligation) to donate to the relief efforts, a friend of mine said to watch the next major ecological crisis in this country and note the lack-luster response overall. She was right. Now don't get me wrong, there are a few sites and organizations that are beginning to offer proceeds of sales to help in relief efforts for the Gulf, but I'm not being bombarded at every turn. While the government regulators and BP point fingers at each other and stare, the Gulf Coast is bracing for some major ecological and economic clean-up. Don't see the benefit concerts... don't see the "text for donation" popping up.... don't see the ex-Presidents rushing to organize charity relief. Nice, huh? Guess the Gulf Coast doesn't offer enough prime real estate for a tropical getaway when all is said and done. I'm amazed.

I also find myself missing the common sense one-liners that used to come from my Grandmother.... she had a way of putting things in concise sentences that pretty much closed the matter for discussion. I've actually been thinking about her most of the day.... the old one-room schoolhouse that my grandfather and his brother converted to a home (she outlived that house), the way she loved to sit outside and just be, enjoying the sunshine, the breeze and the familiar salt air I always take for granted until I've taken a trip inland. It just occurred to me why I'm thinking so much about her -- tomorrow would have been her birthday. She would have been 95... or 94... we were never sure exactly what year she was born since my great-grandfather kinda kept that to himself. Happy Birthday, Grandma... I'm sure you're happier where you are than you would be here these days.


Sunday, February 21, 2010


It's cold. It's cold everywhere. Very cold. The Jet Stream has been uncharacteristically low, which always draws down Alberta Clippers and arctic air, always brings weather systems from the South, always develops lows off our coast that sit and hold the systems steady while feeding them lots of moisture to produce snow, sleet, freezing rain, ice... but I'm not just talking about the weather.

The past year has been a challenge. The economy blew cold and empty... there were pay cuts instead of raises for jobs well done... then more cuts... then more. Good people lost their jobs through no fault of their own... it's just business. More good people, while still working, are hanging on to their homes by a thread and ever-increasingly non-confident prayer. "The worst is over" is what we're hearing, but I'm not so sure. It's a challenge to hold a positive outlook when every day you find there's not only another mountain to climb, but it's steeper, rockier, colder than the last.

And then there are the losses.... already this year, short as it's been. A co-worker of almost 11 years, an Aunt, and now if the grape-vine is correct a good friend and colleague of a quarter century... and all of this in just the past three weeks. With their passing more of the warmth this world held is now gone, and it's just that much colder.

I think, dear friends, that I'm ready for Spring and Summer.... ready for turn-arounds, good news, and life. This cold is getting into my bones and my soul, and I'm ready for it to leave now. It's been a very long winter.