Sunday, February 25, 2007

Twitter, Milk and Psycho-Fish

So I'm getting heavy into the Web 2.0 thing. Non-conformist that I claim to be, I'm such a damn follower. The latest thing I'm getting hooked on is Twitter ( Listening to Leo too much, I guess. The way it works is, you just type in what your doing at that moment. Checking back from time to time you can see what others have been doing too. Sounds dumb, huh? Well, most addictive things are, I guess. But I don't care. You can see it here on the blog until I get tired of it. I've been playing around with lots of new things lately. I have Skype, as I said before, but no one else I know does. Guess that makes me an early adopter.... or just sad.

Have you ever noticed how calming milk can be? I have a self-proclaimed home-psychologist friend that will tell me I'm just reminded of suckling my mamma's teat, but then he thinks about that sort of thing all the time anyway. Think I'll discount that one. The house is in bed at the moment (except for this 46 year old geek), the TV is off, Alanis is playing in my headsets and I have a coffee mug full of milk. Seems to help soothe the abscess. And if you know that milk doesn't ease the pain of an abscess, just keep it to yourself. I enjoy self-delusional episodes. The mug itself is something my sister-in-law bought for me some years ago, and it's my favorite. It's a Bald Eagle soaring over a wetland landscape that she found at the zoo in North Carolina, and this thing has held coffee, hot chocolate, alcohol, tea, Thera-Flu, orange juice, water,,,,,,,,, and milk. I think milk is my favorite. Of course,,, this could be the Vicodin talking.

I'm house-sitting this week for some friends who are out of town. They have the absolute coolest felines. I mean it. These guys never tell on me when my friends come home. All I have to do is give them a little extra kibble and a scratch, then let the party begin. They even clean up after me. It's like I was never there. Now, the psycho-fish are a different story. These little demon-spawn appeared as though by magic one day in the fish tank. And they never die. I've never seen anything like it. When I walk past the tank, the follow me... in a school... all of them... all 12, no wait, 18,, jeez... 20 now. My friend feeds them blood worms (I think because they prefer human blood, and this is the only way to appease them) by actually squeezing them inside the tank. Not me, Jack. I sprinkle them from a height of 6 inches. The water fairly boils from the ensuing frenzy.

Tomorrow, I'm taking back-up.

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Mouth Pain, Toy Anticipation and the Magical Properties of a Fish Tank

My mouth hurts. Seems I've developed an abscess in the lower right gum related to what's left of a doomed back tooth. It's ultimate demise is scheduled for 10 days from now. Meanwhile, I have some pain medication that's making me think twice about dealing with the pain. As long as I go to sleep, I'm fine, but I can forget about trying to actually function while under the influence of the evil drug. It seems to make my left leg shorter than my right, and causes the fluid in my inner ear to play whirlpool games. Think I'll stick with the Excedrin and antibiotic.

We're watching the grandbaby tonight, and I've made an amazing discovery. When the bottle doesn't work, the tv doesn't work, the annoying sing-along toy doesn't work, and pulling the puppycat's tail doesn't work,,,,,,, there are the fish. This child spent almost an hour talking to the fish tank, evidently resolving the important issues of the day. Tonal inflections indicate a very deep conversation between the finned ones and her, punctuated by the occasional pat on the glass for emphasis and camaraderie. A few jokes were shared, as evidenced by the polite giggles, and I'm pretty sure I was the butt of one or two since she looked askance in my direction once or twice with a knowing chuckle to her swimming friends. This wouldn't worry me so much if I wasn't going to be caring for some psycho-fish for friends who are out of town this weekend. I just know there's a tiny cellphone in the castle where the pleko hides.

Speaking of phones, I've decided I'm going to attempt to further decrease the long-distance bill (currently being handled with a prepaid card, but still a bill nonetheless). I've downloaded Skype and intend to teach my better half to use it to call her family three states away. Of course, first I'll need a headset. Hence, the latest excuse to purchase some geekwear. Enter the Plantronics DSP-400 Digitally-Enhanced USB Foldable Stereo Headset and Software. How's that for a mouthful. The cool part about this little transaction, other than the fact I got it for 90 bucks less than it was selling for last week... oh,, and the free shipping.... is the ability to use this dandy little toy while playing online video games. After all, with virtually free long distance she's not going to be on the skype phone all the time, right?.... RIGHT????

Stop laughing.