All right, so I don't claim to be the smartest person the Third Rock has spawned. But really, I've seen this done before.... with success.... and without pain....

The beginning? Okay. Yesterday, the planets aligned, the clouds parted, the air was just right, and I had the day off.... all at the same time. I was actually able to bring down the jungle.. er,, mow my lawn. I have a decent push mower (cleaner cut) with a bag on the back, and things were going so well. A swath of freshly mown lawn was waking behind me, the see of waving green was in front of me, awaiting it's demise, audiobook was unfolding from my iPod/phone. Now, I usually lift the seat from the yard swing and set it on the part I've completed so I can get to the grass beneath it, but yesterday I was feeling just a bit lazy so I simply pushed the mower under the swing, pushing it back. The air beneath the swing bloomed brown..... buzzing brown.... seems a fresh wasp's next was nestled snugly on the underside of the swing. Thank god for laziness. That one little piece of the lawn was going to have to wait.

Fast forward to today. Rummaging beneath he kitchen sink, I found my weapon of choice. You see, I love sitting on that swing in the cool evening, and I wasn't letting a bunch of insects take it over solely on the virtue of possessing sharp weapons strapped to their butts. The can said "Kills on contact" and "27 ft stream". I've seen my friend use this very formula when persuading hornets to shed the earthly coil when we were moving his hot tub. No kidding, the beasties fell in mid-flight when struck by the oily poison. I was confident. I was cocky. I was wrong.

Kneeling low so I could see the mass crawling over their nest, I took aim and fired... seems it was just enough to piss them off. Moving back across the lawn quickly, I was still under the delusion they would fall from the sky,,,,any minute now.... and one of the bastards snuck in behind me and impaled my arm. This brought reality into focus. These things were strategically surrounding my dumb ass. Luckily, my flash of innocence (and stupidity) was short-lived. I raced to the door and got inside before any others could find flesh. Thus began the day-long stand-off. The swing is within 27 feet of the door, so the day progressed with me waiting for the fervor to die down, then I would crack open the storm door and fire another volley of poison, quickly closing the door. I admit it; I took great pleasure watching the infuriated insects slam against the glass of the storm door in attempt to get to me. Does this make me bad?

Oh well, who cares. Their all dead now..... I hope.

iPhone and Home Improvement

Told you this would be sporadic.

So, I own the iPhone. Lots of people do. It's nice. I love it. Not really interested in trying any other phone out any time in the future which, for a geek like me, is an extremely high compliment. You've heard enough about the iPhone, so I'll stop. That's it. That's my review.

We decided (meaning she wanted for her birthday) to pull up the carpet in our living room, master bedroom and master bath, and replace it with something else. After several trips to Home Depot, Lowe's, everywhere on the Internet, etc., we decided we couldn't' really afford to do it. Then, like magic, here comes an offer for a Home Depot card. Please understand, my credit rating is,,, ummm,,, less than stellar. So when she said "Let's see if we can get it", I said "Sure, I'll waste 5 minutes applying.... a week later we purchased flooring at Home Depot with the temporary card number they sent. I'm not sure if it was Karma or Murphy or something else entirely, but I want open season on it.

We started with the living room, and I have to say, it really looks nice. Finished it up over a week ago, and now things are back to normal in the living room... except for the quarter round molding that I haven't put down yet.... and those 2o empty flooring boxes by the TV... and the 4 full ones.... and the hand truck.... and the fish tank that's still in the kitchen instead of in the living room where it belongs..... and the book case that's outside in the portable storage unit.....

........quit laughing.

Tee Ball, Sportsmanship training for everyone.

Keep your MLB, go ahead and watch the Minors, play softball if you must...... nothing beats Tee Ball. When my boys were young, Tee Ball was a new thing and they didn't play. I got to help coach Little League for my oldest (the youngest wasn't interested), and I learned many disturbing things about adults. We, as coaches, strove to teach the kids teamwork, sportsmanship and that having fun is what baseball is all about. We were mostly successful during practices. Then, the games started. There was name-calling, jeering, belittling, anger, and the occasional physical altercation..... and all of this among the parents attending the game. I saw father's of sons that I had known for years, father's who doted on their boys and always had nothing but praise for them any other time turn into hecklers and nay-sayers to their own sons on the field. It was sad to watch the embarrassment in these boys as what should have been a fun day of baseball invariably turned into an agonizing chore of falling short of expectations and disappointing their real-life heroes. Don't get me wrong, there were some good days, and not every parent acted this way but believe me, it only takes a few to ruin the day. What we really needed was Little League practice for parents teaching teamwork, sportsmanship and how to have a good time.

Fast-forward to present day. My oldest granddaughter joined Tee Ball. I have to say, this game brings out the best in all of us. Think about it... there is one set of bleachers at the Tee Ball diamond. Both sides sit together, cheering on ALL of the kids on both teams. Everyone gets to bat every inning, everyone takes all of the bases and everyone,,, EVERYONE has a good time. In one particular game we had to pause for a train-delay; my granddaughter, playing "pitcher" began jumping up and down, pointing and yelling "TRAIN COMING, TRAIN COMING" (the tracks run ride beside the diamond). The coaches stopped the game and every player turned to watch the train go by, jumping up and down with excitement while the engineer tapped the horn as he went by. Then, back to the game; no complaints, no eye rolls. How cool is that? At the end of the game, everyone congratulates everyone on a game well played, parents praise other parents' children, regardless of team.

I look forward to the time real Little League rolls around for her. If she decides to play, it is my hope that all of the goodwill learned by the kids AND the parents at Tee Ball level moves with them all to the ball field. Seems that training I was talking about is taking place after all, huh?

Old Days vs New Days

Sometimes when I'm thinking about nothing, everything comes to mind. I can remember listening for the ice cream truck just before bed in the fading light of a summer day, and I suddenly taste the Mint Chocolate Chip tucked away in the freezer twenty feet away. The first time I rode a two-wheeler melds with the first time my oldest rode one. The birth of my second son when I was 22 somehow collides with the death of my grandfather when I was 3, probably because they both looked so peaceful at rest. Every job I've ever had has just become one long employment, each position naturally flowing to the next until I reach present day. I'm also painfully aware that I don't have as much lung capacity as I did when I was younger. The good news is, it's more than I had two years ago, since I stepped into the modern age where medication was concerned. All this just serves to tell me how short a time my 46 years has been, and how fast it can go.

My grand daughters were here today, and I marvel at their energy. As I talk with friends who still have kids at home, some 10 years old and under, I'm reminded that the chaos I perceive in their homes isn't chaos when you're in the moment... it's life, and it can't be traded for all the gold in the world. I sometimes miss those times, as uncomfortable as I tend to get nowadays with too much activity around me (I call it sensory overload). Don't get me wrong, spoiling children and sending them home to their parents is a wonderful experience. But, there's something about tucking them in, knowing that your guidance and teaching took them through another day and has adding another piece of the puzzle that is their personality. It really is what we live for.

The point is, I guess, if you're in the moment, stop and breathe. Take it in and savor it. It passes quickly, believe me. Before you know it, everything runs together.

The Past (Fast?) Ten Years

My phone is buzzing in my pocket with a text message waiting. Seems my friend is prepping to move from one State I don't live in to another State I don't live in. We know and have communicated with each other's spouses, directly or indirectly, we've played board games together, card games, bowling, 8 ball, bingo. We know each others kids and their interests. She knows about my grand kids and I know about her parents and siblings. We've shared work stories, given and accepted advice, told jokes, eaten together. We're very good friends...

...and we've never laid eyes on each other. Ten years ago, this would not have been me. I'd have to say I pretty much only talked with people at work, my family, and my best friend on the rare occasion that we'd visit. Then I got online. I've met some very good people here (and a few that I don't care to speak with again), and with Web 2.0 and the Social Networking craze, this world really has become a tiny place is a very short period of time. I take the optimistic view of the phenomenon. All of this interaction must lead to greater sharing of intellect and innovation benefiting science and sociology, and furthering the progress of our civilization as a whole.

So tell me: At this rate of development, what will the world possibly be like when my Great-Grandchildren are growing up? I think the possibilities are, for the first time, truly endless, don't you?

A Milestone

Let it be known that I was right today......




..... and a woman said so.



Life is good.

Rest, Travel and Indecision

I told you this thing would be sporadic. I tend to be about as consistent as the weather here; which, by the way, is driving me CRAZY. winter winter winter, summer, summer, summer, fall, winter, summer..... ugh. We're finally having some semblance of spring. Okay, I'm done with the weather.

So, I took a vacation recently. Interestingly enough, this coincided with my twenty-fifth wedding anniversary. Being the good husband, I asked her what she wanted for her anniversary. She wanted to see her family. All right. Since her family is basically in North Carolina (she see the ones she wants in Delaware whenever she wants to), I scheduled my vacation around our anniversary. Two weeks. Then, I gained more responsibilities at work, and my new boss haggled with my Better Half until I was down to 10 working days. ...All right... Then, it's decided we're also going to meet another family member after we go to North Carolina. ......All .. right...... Day 1 was the drive to between East and Central NC, just below the border. Day 2 was the drive to the middle of the State. Day 3 took us to West Virginia, just before the Ohio border. Day 4 was spent sightseeing and catching up. Day 5, back to the middle of NC. Day six was computer fix-it day (which was quite relaxing and enjoyable..... sue me). Day 7 back to the NC border. Day 8, the drive home. Day 9 was the actual anniversary (we slept). Day 10, back to work................................. I need a vacation.

I've officially become completely indecisive. My folks have offered to get me an iPhone (actually placed me on the list) in return for all the work I do to keep their computers running for their business. I want it. I really do. So I get this bout of guilt for costing them more money than I would spend on a phone, or an ipod. See, now it's closer to the release of the thing, and I know my name is somewhere around fifteenth on the list. I just can't help myself. I've waffled back to letting them get it. I'm not sure if that makes me a bad son, or just a very lucky one. The only thing that could make this suck is if I hate the phone. I don't think I will, but who knows, right? On the upside, there are a lot of people who want to see this thing once I get it. It's like coming home with a newborn and everyone wants to hold the baby. You really don't want to let them; yet, at the same time, it's kind of nice showing off what you've got.

Okay, I've lost it. I've just compared the iPhone to a newborn. Time to end this for the day. I'll try to be more sporadic in the future just to spare all two of you who actually read this thing.